Apparently, majority of us seem to be in the “figuring it all out” phase. Probing questions such as “What is next for me?”, and “Where will my paths lead me?” tend to haunt us daily. More so, even in the midst of searching for answers, we are forced to simply maneuver throughout our everyday lives as if everything around isn’t happening. We are left standing in limbo, with the most sound advice consisting of phrases such as “pray about it” and “you’ll be okay.”
On a number of occasions, I’ve sat in silence and thought to myself “Will I really be okay?” And on days when I just couldn’t take it anymore, I actually yelled out to the heavens, “I’m sick of praying about it!” Yes, a sistah was ALL up in her feelings!
But you know what? Life, along with its discomforting situations and unsolicited circumstances, has a tendency of getting the best of us sometimes, especially during the waiting periods. It can make us question nearly everything around us, including ourselves. It can drive us crazy to the point of crazy panic attacks, caffeine binges, and sleepless nights, just to end up in the same place (mentally speaking) once again.
So now, as we are all drained, what is there to do next? Nothing.
Yes, I know. I felt the sting even as I was writing that. “Doing nothing?!” That sounds insane, right? Yes, it does. But I don’t literally mean “nothing” as in becoming idle and unproductive. In this case of “nothing”, I mean choosing not to dwell on the unknown things that worry me.
Now, in my pain, discomfort, and confusion, I will be still, remain silent, wait patiently and do “nothing.”
Perhaps this is where God wanted me to be all along.
Perhaps, in the midst of my chaos, He had to find a way to get my attention so that I could finally seek His will wholeheartedly.
Photo Credit | Takhaja Cotton